Coaching Conversations: Empathy

Empathy is another catch word in the field of leadership. But what does empathy really mean, and how can we express it in our own personal coaching philosophy?

Empathy is not only knowing what a person Is feeling but understanding how they are feeling and responding in a way that expresses your concern for them.

In hard nose coaching this would be called “soft” among other terms. I would propose that there is empathy in discipline, structure, and consistency. How does a coach express empathy, while maintaining discipline and structure?

Discipline

Discipline does not always mean negative consequences. The positive side of discipline is being consistent with the little things that bring success. When athletes maintain discipline there is room for learning about your athletes.

Structure

Structure allows for predictability and autonomy.

Structure helps athletes understand what to expect.

Structure also creates space for empathy.

Consistency

Once you have established a structure, implementing the structure will lead to maintaining discipline. Athletes respond well to consistency in structure and discipline.

When discipline and structure are consistent and loving, athletes have a place of safety to make mistakes and grow.

P.S. Do not mistake safety and loving for staying comfortable. Pushing limits will be a later blog post.

 Book Recommendations

-Conscious Coaching, by Brett Bartholomew

-Dare to Lead, by Brene Brown

-The Culture Code, by Daniel Coyle

Breaking the Plateau Pt. 1

If you’ve ever had a conversation about fitness or weight loss you’ve heard of the proverbial “plateau.” This is the point in someone’s progress where positive change seems to have halted. The general reaction to this point is to try and “beat it” or “break through” the plateau. Running from the plateau or trying to avoid the plateau is often discussed vehemently in weight loss circles…

Plateaus are not bad spots. Plateaus give our body a chance to learn the new normal.

Verse of the Week:

Colossians 3:15

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful…

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a fairly universal concept. When someone does wrong by you, you give grace in your response. Giving forgiveness can be one thing, but accepting forgiveness can be just as hard if not harder. When someone extends grace through forgiveness consider your response. This may not necessarily be as simple as forgive and forget. Maybe, have the courage to forgive and more forward.

Patience

Patience is the ability to wait, or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed. Whew…That’s hard! Especially in a day when we are conditioned to have everything now, literally at the click of a button.

Here is the question…

Where can you be more patient?

Strength

Strength

Strength can be used to describe physical.

Strength can be used to describe emotional.

Strength can be used to describe faith.

Strength can used to describe skills.

Regardless of in what domain we use the word strength, consensus can say improved strength always comes with time.

COURAGE

COURAGE

Courage, in itself, is not the lack of fear, but persisting in spite of fear. Like many other things, courage takes practice. Practicing courage, doesn’t mean putting yourself in harm’s way and hope that it all works out.

Practicing courage happens when we take little steps just outside our comfort zone. Each step outside our comfort zone sets us up for a new standard that we can handle, so when we are called to be courageous, we are prepared.

Calories Count

CALORIES COUNT

You don’t have to count calories, but it is important to know that calories do count. Calories are the fuel that keep us moving. They are a measure of energy more than they are a measure of food size. Different foods provide different amounts of calories based on the nutrients contained in the food. Each of those nutrients serve a different function in the body.

Calories Support Activities of Daily Life

Remember calories are measures of energy. Our body burns energy and consumes energy. To lose weight the body needs to consume less calories than it burns. But if the body takes in too little calories, the body will struggle to survive. The body needs to consume enough calories to maintain activities of daily life.

Recovery- Part 4

Part: 4- Nutrition

Nutrition is also a huge factor in appropriate and efficient recovery. Often, diet fanatics and sales marketers will push nutrient limiting fads or exclusion diets. The nutrition concepts can be beneficial if your only goal is weights loss.
For optimal athletic performance, it’s important to make sure the body has the appropriate nutrients to repair itself and prepare itself for training conditions.

Recovery - Part 3

Sleep in Daily Activity

While sleep is shown to improve athletic performance for the long term, sleep has also proven important for daily activity. Sleep deprivation can impede cognitive function and alertness. Have you ever found yourself struggling to remember routine steps, or focusing on a project? It may be a normal routine for you to cut sleep to finish a project (Sometimes, I find myself in this boat.) If cutting sleep becomes normal, start paying attention to the little things. If you notice forgetfulness, lack of focus, or minimal motivation, start taking action to improve you sleep habits.

Recovery- Part 2

Sleep and Athletic Performance

Sleep is one of the most important tools in the recovery toolbox. For athletic performance appropriate sleep will optimize strength adaptations, split second decision making, and technical capacity for sport specific movement. Utilizing sleep is most beneficial when we create consistent patterns in behavior around this prolonged rest period.

Recovery - Part: 1

Go! Go! Go!

That’s an overwhelming mantra in the fitness industry.

But as we take into account the affects of fitness, it is important to note, that adaptations from exercise need time to manifest. It’s not only important that we manage our workouts, it’s just as important that we manage our recovery. Without proper recovery, the goals we work so hard for can be halted or impeded. Thee are several ways to manage your recovery, but 2 of the most important are sleep and nutrition.

The Larger Picture

The Larger Picture

“This is it!! This one exercise will change your life,” or Nah. In fitness, rarely does one exercise make all the difference by itself. When one exercise fits within the context of the overall picture, it can have a large impact. As a fitness professional, I often get the question, “What exercise should I do for this…the best exercise?!” Exercise doesn’t work like that. Each exercise is a tool in the toolbox. Different tools can have the same result. Make sure you use the tool appropriately.

Here are a few tips in creating your own plan:

1)     Have an idea of your goal

2)     Brain storm exercises

3)     Be creative

4)     Have fun

Creating Space - Part 2: Scheduled Chaos

Part 2: Scheduled Chaos

If you like structure, the thought of the unknown can be unnerving. However, it’s almost inevitable that something unintended will occur at some point in the schedule. Consider the following notion. Creating space for a disruption in your schedule can improve the efficiency of the schedule.

Creating Space - Part 1 Free Spirit

Part 1 : Free Spirit

If you consider yourself a free spirit, the thought of a schedule or a routine can seem confining. “Who wants to stick to the same predictable routine day in and day out?” If you’re human, at some point in your life you’ve thought to yourself, “I’d like to do that, but I can’t find the time.” Think on this idea…Having some form of routine and predictability can create space for spontaneity.

Respose & Reaction

Your First Response/Reaction

How often is your first response a string of thoughts that consider how bad something is

going to be or how many ways something won’t work? Let’s call this your first draft. If you’re

human, you can count on your first draft being rough (ha ha got ‘em ). Knowing that your

first draft/reaction can often be a rough draft is key to navigating through many of our

responses to new, adverse, or unknown circumstances. It is beneficial to ask yourself if your

first reaction is the most appropriate. - Jason Windley

3 Fold Goals - Part 3

Part 3: Behavioral Goals

The third portion of the 3 Fold Goals approach is the behavior goal. After setting a

destination goal and determining the performance markers that will help you achieve the goal,

it’s critical to set the behavior patterns that will allow you to be successful. In a school setting,

if your goal is to get an A in the class that means your class test need to be within range. A

behavior goal that you might double down on is ensuring you have 7-8 hours of sleep at night.

It’s hard to achieve a goal if your habits and behaviors don’t match the destination. Set

your destination goal, determine the level of performance needed to achieve that goal, and

map your behavior to establish the habits to help you reach your destination.

3 Fold Goals - Part 2

Part 2- Performance Goals

In the 3 fold goals approach it helps to start with Destination Goal. In the email, 3 fold goals part 1, we mentioned destination goals have a set end point and a plan. When pursuing the plan, it is important to have a standard of performance for each part of the plan. Performance goals will happen within the timeline of the plan and indicate the nature in which each step should be pursued.

For example, in weights this may be a percentage of weight lifted. In running, this may be a heart rate zone. In school, this may be chapters read.

Essentially, there needs to be a level of performance that appropriately prepares you for the desired outcome. The level of performance should be anticipated and planned.

3 Fold Goals Part 1- Destination Goals

Part 1: Destination Goals

Setting goals is a common suggestion among everyone. One of the greatest risks of setting goals is not missing the mark, but making the mark and not knowing how to adjust to the new standard. In the last email I suggested a 3 fold approach. Using 3 different, but overlapping goals. Destination Goals, Performance Goals and Behavior goals. Today we will look at destination goals.

Destination Goals are the goals you set that have an exact end point. An example of a destination goal would be: weight lost, max weight lifted, or a specific time on a run. Often destination goals will have a timeline and a plan associated with the goal. Once the goal has been accomplished, you can say "I did it". - Jason Windley

What's Next?

What’s Next?

When you've worked really hard to accomplish a goal, once you've achieved a goal there could be an anticlimactic lull period. Your thoughts, "I did it! That's incredible...Now what?" The obvious answer is to keep going in the direction you were going. But where will that take you? Dilemmas...

When setting goals, try a 3 fold approach:

1) Destination goal

2) Performance Goal

3) Behavior Goal